The end of everything?

Panic and fear are the two words I would use most to describe my feelings in reaction to thoughts of death. I have become increasingly aware of my own mortality the older I get and whilst I am sure this is normal it is in no way comforting to know that most people experience it. This is of course an assumption on my part as I have no way of proving such a hypothesis unless I resort to questioning of friends and family. I hate that I should feel as I do. Why can I not be content with living life as it comes along instead of having to be concerned about how it is going to end? Actually it is not concern over the end process that is the all empowering distraction. It is the finality associated with it. I have never been able to come to terms with the fact that after death there is nothing. How can beings capable of such consciousness be reduced to nothing? I think the problem is that I have no possible point of reference for nothingness. It is not something we are ever taught or told to consider and we are simply expected to deal with it should the thoughts enter our minds. I would like to be able to contemplate religion and what it can offer in terms of comfort and understanding but I have always been of the opinion that religion finds you and it is not something we can force ourselves upon. I can fully understand the reasoning behind religion and the people that cling to it with undying devotion as it can offer solace and explanation to some of humanities most difficult questions but I do regard those explanations to be simplified to say the least. I have no doubt religion has its place and I would truly love to be able to feel the all encompassing sensation of devotion towards a higher entity but perhaps I am too cynical to be able to experience that sentiment. Or perhaps I have just yet to be touched or whatever it is switches us to belief of a Godly existence. Either way I am left with the continuing disbelief of death and what it means to our conscious lives. Is it the case that we have grown so arrogant that we refuse to give in to the fact we are nothing more than highly evolved animals and that egotistic lifestyle we lead ensures we simply defy the logic that means we do simply die? I for one can only hope there is something more than what we are on earth for all other explanations scare me to the point of panic. To imagine what death brings and the end of thought, reason, relationships and love is something I continue to grapple with for the possible truth is something so horrific it does induce fear. For now I can only hope that we do in fact move on to something better and do not simply cease to be! So where does that leave the rest of us that cannot help but to wonder? We need to attempt to belay any thoughts of death and what it brings, immediately discard any thoughts and be determined to live for the day. If we spend all of our days fearing the end then we'll soon enough realize our dread and die not ever having lived our lives.